I want an Elvira statue. Yes, I do. I'm not really the kinda girl that's into collecting figurines (I know, shock horror . . .), but I really, really like this. Does this desire justify an entire blog post? Eh, feck yes! The statue pleases me, but sadly, the price-tag does not
Also, why is this the only decent close-up available? I'm not a demanding person, but I think we can do better than the standard cleavage shots. Especially if I'm gonna fork over my hard-earned cash. On a related note, I found £10 on the street today. I felt really guilty for picking it up, and started chatting to some old woman nearby, and asked if she'd seen anyone who'd dropped it. She told me to pocket it. That's right. She told me to pocket it: "There's nuthing ye can do, hen". I was torn, I tell you: I normally give money I find to charity, but alas there was none nearby (I know cause I searched), so I took the old woman's advice. There endeth my tale.
I hadn't heard about Vampire Diary until I'd read the review in the September issue of Fangoria. They'd proudly declared the film "Video of the Month", and given the review a nice, distinctive border -- dividing it from such tosh like Dracula's Guest and Hybrid (a tale of some poor sap, who during a transplant, has been given the eyes of a wolf --yes, really). Make no mistake, Vampire Diary may differ in quality, but it's low budget practically screams from the word go. For example: most of the sequences outside of the grimy, London clubs were filmed in one of the Director's apartments. Although a rather cramped environment, this provides the film with a greater sense of intimacy, focusing on the characters as opposed to details in the background. Even when our characters are on the run, and there is a City-wide search for them, all we hear is sirens and flickering news footage. It detaches the meager cast from the rest of the world, making their status as outcasts even more plausible.
The plot is another "found footage" affair, stemming from a sub genre which includes horror classic, The Blair Witch Project (1999), George Romero's Diary of the Dead (2007), Cloverfield (2008), [REC] (2007), and The Zombie Diaries (2006). Where the forgotten footage sub genre was rather fresh in the late 90s, it's now feeling a little bit stale, earning its own set of cliches. However, Vampire Diary does succeed in bringing new ideas to the fold -- a marvellous thing too, given the small production values. The story in question unfolds through the camera lens of Holly (the wonderfully Scottish-sounding Morven Macbeth), a young film maker who's producing a documentary on "weekend vampires"-- a cult of Goths who prance around London, dressed-up as vampires, complete with fangs. They're known as The Kindred, and they're a friendly bunch:
Holly is unfazed, but one night, when she is taping her particular band of subjects, she notices another vampy-looking woman filming her. Vicki (Hellboy II's Anna Walton) is a blood sucker with a difference -- she lacks fangs, saunters around in the daylight and kills her victims using a bolt-gun before slurping their blood. She also doesn't sleep in a coffin, which is lucky for Holly as Vicki is soon sharing her bed. But, Holly isn't aware of her girlfriend's origins until members of the Goth clique start dying, and Vicki-the-vampire confesses, showing her footage of the killings. Holly is horrified, but searches for new ways for Vicki to control her blood lust. In one sequence they try to rob a blood bank, only to appear in the news for their efforts. Their situation, however, is further complicated as the police draw closer, and Vicki reveals she is pregnant with a vampire baby.
The presentation of the vampire as a possible serial killer has been done before --most notably perhaps, in George Romero's fantastic Martin (1977), which also blurs the boundaries of psychological drama and disturbing horror -- is Martin a vampire or just really fucked-up? The debate regarding Vicki's vampirism is handled much the same, and is played about through out the film. The debate itself has even divided Writer/co-Director Phil O'Shea, Mark James and Producer Michael Riley. Taken from Fangoria #276:
"I'm never in any doubt that she is," says O'Shea unequivocally -- and as scriptwriter, ought to know. "One thing that concerned me was that if we made the film and transpired that she was not a vampire, horror audiences might feel a bit disappointed and let down." But Riley disagrees: "In my opinion, she is not a vampire. She shows how a smart, intelligent, sexy woman can manipulate people into thinking certain things. And she gets away with it. There's nothing, as far as I'm concerned, in the film that says absolutely, unequivocally that she's a supernatural monster. What she does is totally physical." That leaves James . . . "We always liked the idea of playing with the question of whether she is or not, and wanting to leave it open . . . You have to make your own mind up. I don't think I can really say."
Vampire Diary
successfully avoids the pitfalls of the lesbian vampire sub genre -- this isn't an exploitation film, glorifying nudity or gore (even though there is plenty of each). It's more of a drama, a character study -- the idea that we're witnessing everything through the lens of Holly and Vicky's camera makes scenes travel at a choppy, comic book-like speed, disrupting the overall pace of the narrative. Although this may seem a bit disorientating, it provides a wider insight into the nature of Vicky and Holly's relationship -- we see their highs, and their lows -- their fights and make-up sex. Walton and Macbeth both play their parts beautifully -- Vicki is given enough vulnerability to underline her savage tendencies, whilst displaying a life-long sense of loneliness, and Holly's pushy edge dissolves as she does everything to protect her lover, and feed her.
Aside from this, Vampire Diary isn't without it's faults -- there's the usual quibbles and inconsistencies when it comes to documentary-style films: are the characters really that obsessed in film making? Oh, that's convenient, there's an ideal camera ledge right above their bath tub . . .There acting ability also varies when it comes to the co-stars, and the music is often rather intrusive -- but I guess it comes with the territory of such a film. Of course, these are minor, and it's easier to commend the film, especially given its tight budget. Vampire Diary may not be astounding film making, and it's not for everyone, but it's unique in its own twisted way, and you could do a whole lot worse than check this little film out.
Yeah, so on Thursday I was drowning my sorrows . . .
No, I didn't flunk a class (this time/yet), but it was my birthday. Yup, a whole other year older, and just as fuckin' stupid. And no, I'm not telling you my birthday -- and don't let the Myspace fool ya. I'm as stealthy as a ninja. A rather drunken ninja. Okay, maybe just drunken? Anyway, I'm a lady; I'm not divulging such details. However, at this rate, if I'm lucky, I'll end up as the slightly eccentric member of this bunch:
If I'm not lucky, then I'll end up like this:
Or slightly worse (heck, at least I'll have good teeth):
Anyway, the best part about birthdays is the presents -- eh, I mean the family together-ness. Obviously. Remember when I made this post, like back in the day? Well, I got what I asked for. Which just goes to show you: writing blogs does have it's perks. And if you have a lack of dignity/self respect (like I do), you too can get what you ask *cough* beg *cough* for.
Oh, and I also got the Hammer Horror boxset, which is just uber amazing. A perfect introduction to old-school British horror. If yer interested . . .
"It was an evil house in the beginning -- a house that was born bad."
I know it sounds slightly ridiculous, but that's always the line of dialogue that resurfaces from my memory when I think of The Haunting. To say that it made an impression on me in my youth would be an understatement: I think it's the definitive ghost story. Sure, there's no gore and very little violence -- heck, there isn't even the obvious appearance of a malicious creature, but Director Robert Wise (whose horror credentials also include Curse of the Cat People and The Body Snatcher in the 1940s) has used other means to create a classic, psychological horror film. What's scary is simple: it's the unseen -- the tension that mounts, the noises and the strange, unexplainable occurrences. Just watch the films opening scene, which details the gruesome back story to Hill House, and the deaths of its previous occupants. It creates a mounting sense of dread through out The Haunting.
You know, I guess I've put myself in the mood for watching this ghost story again.
I was watching Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008) last night, and it got me reflecting upon the recent surge of "homage horror". You know the kind, man; films that attempt to emulate the conventions of a certain brand of horror, be it a sub-genre/decade. And I know, sometimes it vomits up the dead-horse debate of originality -- surely this rehash of old ideas, cliches is just a stage below remakes? And I'm not the biggest fan of remakes. Ooh, Michael Bay, how I'd fuckin' LOVE to slap you across the kisser with a massive, slimy trout. Hey, you thought I was above idle threats? Well, you were wrong! Heck, even Uwe Boll has some not-so-nice things to say about Michael. They should totally do a charity event together, like a boxing match. I'd donate.
Yes, Michael, I most certainly would!
Anyway, I actually dig homage horror. I understand the plight regarding first-time filmmakers and their desire to project a story harking back to their youth. Which I'm sure they'll be happy to note. I think it's a sweet, heartwarming affair: passionate filmmakers, not corrupted by the lure of Hollywood, wanting to create a film specifically for horror fans. Sigh, it's romantic.
Recent horror films paying homage which I loved:
Grindhouse (2007) Okay, so Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's joint venture pretty much flopped -- a fact that still irks me today: the films were torn apart for release in Britain, and our local cinema didn't even show Planet Terror! Oh, but they had the nerve to show Bratz(2007). Cineworld I may park my ass in your seats, and savour your popcorn, but you're still a heartless bastard!
The trailer for Grindhouse is one of my favourites, and spent a good few months circulating around my Myspace. It sets the tone and general kick-ass fun of the film.
Slither (2006) An ode to Writer/Director James Gunn's favourite horror films. Slither is a sci-fi, horror comedy with elements of Night of the Creeps (1986), The Blob (1958), Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956), Shivers (1975), Society (1989) and many more. The film follows fan favourite, Nathan Fillion, a sheriff as he battles against slug-like aliens who've invaded his home town.
Hatchet (2006) Echoing the gore-drenched slasher flicks of the 80s, Hatchet proudly describes itself as "Old school American horror", literally on its sleeve. Kane Hodder and Robert Englund also have cameos, with Hodder doubling up his roles as villain, Victor Crowley, a particularly savage guy, who's prone to ripping his victims a part with his bare hands.
And also to note is Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008). Expect a review coming soon. If you haven't seen it, then I heartily recommend that you do so.
I spent most of today around Edinburgh/Glasgow, dragging poor and unfortunate Chris around any DVD shop I could find. Granted, he has piss-poor directional skills, and I didn't have a map, but I reckon we found every shop worthy of a second glance. Of course we were looking for films of a “certain sub-genre”", and what did we find? Not much would be putting it mildly.
Perhaps I'm somewhat deluded, but I would have thought that 70s lesbian vampire movies would be pretty popular, no? But then again, I probably think there should be an entire section-- no, fuck that! An entire shop erected in dedication. And then that would pave the way for more movies, and a stream of remakes! Not that I'd be entirely stoked about the remakes, but whatever.
Ah, but our journey wasn't entirely all doom an' gloom; we did find Vampyros Lesbos (1970), the relatively well-known Jess Franco film (If you can deem Jess Franco "well-known"). Of course, some bugger had stolen my bag and henceforth my ID (like, a year ago . . .), and I have yet to get another form of acceptable identification . . . or something. I mean, I get ID'd for everything, and being halted by the till-person for wanting to purchase a film entitled "Vampyros Lesbos" wouldn't be my crowning moment of glory. It's annoying: when I look back at films, and young, good-looking girls like myself are in trouble, often getting stopped by some stern old guy, they fall upon the: "Oh, it's for my Grandma, Sir! Please, pity my young and reckless ways!" Heck, I couldn't even do that in this situation. Plus, it was woman till-server/person. So, naturally, Chris got ushered into buying it.
PS: I've just successfully buggered my laptop. Being the genius that I am, I have managed to yank the enter button off the keyboard (I was trying to remove dust . . .) with the use of a novelty cock nail file. That's quite an important button, isn't it? Dammit.
Ignore the cartoon-woman's cheery smile; cock nail files cause nothing but trouble. Just like the real thing. Ha.
Here we are, and Night of the Comet makes the second Trailer of the Week. I haven't seen this flick, so I've plastered it across ma blog -- maybe it'll actually encourage me to track it down? Ah, who knows. But it's added to "The List", which isn't as ominous or as well-structured as it sounds.
I've recently watched The Vampire Lovers (1970), and I'm mesmerised. Do you hear me? Freakin' mesmerised. Of course, there's other words that can describe Mrs. Pitt. But, I'll try to hold onto my somewhat piss-poor sense of dignity, and leave them to your imagination. In this movie she isn't just stunning, but her character, Carmilla is also savage, deceptive, soft and somewhat gentle. She's also passionate; "I want you to love me for all your life". And extremely deadly. It's poetry, man.
With The Vampire Lovers, I also watched Vampyres (1974), another well-known lesbian vampire movie. And who doesn't love vampires? Or lesbians!?
I'll review both films shortly, but I'm planning to something more spectacular. Perhaps a week dedicated to the sub-genre?
"What the hell's Outpost? A horror film with zombies and Nazis?" "Nooooo! A horror movie with zombie Nazis."
Yes, despite my razor-sharp intellect and Audry Hepburn sophistication, that was sadly how I was sold on Steve Barker's Outpost, a horror movie with, yes, a wee army of undead Nazis at its disposal -- or lack of, actually. The plot is simple, and is typical of such horror/action hybrids. We follow a "battle-hardened team of mercenaries", who've been paid loads by dodgy engineer, Hunt to go on some secret mission in an old, underground Nazi bunker. The team is composed of a variety of nationalities; an American, a Scotsman, a Somalian, a couple of English folks and an Irish man. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, doesn't it? But Outpost isn't played for laughs; it aims to be a straight-up, gruff horror/action movie. A man's movie!! Grrr! Heck, even the quotation-thingy on the DVD case comes from trashy lad's mag, Nuts: "Gory, disturbing . . . we love it".
Fuck, my fingers feel like they're shrivelling up after typing that shit. Never mind, back to the movie . . .The team are targeted as soon as they arrive at the bunker, and despite their expertise, one of their team-mates is shot. Taking shelter in the bunker, they discover a room piled with naked corpses and a sadistic-lookin' machine, which Hunt is drawn to. It transpires that the Nazis had been using the machine in an attempt to create some kind of "Nazi super soldier". It's here that the film tries to sound technical, pulling in the theories of Albert Einstein, and pseudo scientific explanations that aren't needed. It ultimately makes the mediocre script clunker, weighing down the action and dragging out the plot.
Although low budget, Outpost is a good first attempt by Barker. The single setting is made all the more atmospheric with its dull, grim lights and claustrophobic corridors. Characterisation isn't privy here, and our team are largely defined by their accents more than anything else. Coupled with the dull lightening, it can even get confusing at which mercenary you're watching. The mere notion that it's soldiers in the fray will instantly draw parallels with British director, Neil Marshall's superior Dog Soldiers (2002). The Nazis themselves truly are creepy figures, appearing out of the mist mirroring the zombie-like ghosts in John Carpenters The Fog (1980), their faces are slate-grey, features hidden under the shadows of their bulky helmets. They're a terrifying, unnerving bunch.
Following the recent flurry of British horror, Outpost follows the standard visceral, bleak ending a la Eden Lake (2008). And without giving away a major spoiler in the narrative, it does seem like a bit of a cop-out. It's an easy way to draw an emotional response from an audience without coming up with a well-rounded ending. However, it may be that final, lingering shot which unnerves.
So, Trailer of the Week is a new thang I'm gonna be starting. Like, starting from now, and hopefully appearing every Tuesday. Except this one is appearing on a Wednesday! Hey, it's good to be spontaneous. Or confusing. Whatever.
I'll be picking something random, be it a classic trailer, trash -- most likely a trailer that is actually better than the films itself. Heck, sometimes it might just be a trailer from a film that I haven't seen before. It'll be a mixed-bag, baby.
This weeks trailer comes from 1986's Night of the Creeps, a horror, sci-fi, comedy hybrid, complete with fuckin' horrendous hair-styles. Glorious.
I like loads of things, loads of interesting things. Well, I think they're interesting. But you probably don't. That's alright, I'll list 'em anyway; Horror, b-movies and trash cinema Comics Literature Writing; I have like, a dozen plus stories I'm working on. Computer games (but mostly the stuff that's in two-player or more; I'm a sociable breed, ya know) Urban-exploring, or general exploring Art Wine Walking Listening to other people's stories Records VHS Campfires
The presentation of the vampire as a possible serial killer has been done before --most notably perhaps, in George Romero's fantastic Martin (1977), which also blurs the boundaries of psychological drama and disturbing horror -- is Martin a vampire or just really fucked-up? The debate regarding Vicki's vampirism is handled much the same, and is played about through out the film. The debate itself has even divided Writer/co-Director Phil O'Shea, Mark James and Producer Michael Riley. Taken from Fangoria #276: 
And also to note is Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008). Expect a review coming soon. If you haven't seen it, then I heartily recommend that you do so. 
