Well, I am diggin' the poster art. It looks waaaay better than it's predecessor;
Which ain't difficult. It looks like Schwarzenegger and Loken couldn't be arsed getting their photos taken, and somebody got blindingly drunk, then thought it would be pretty nifty to slap the CGI counterparts on the poster instead. No problem. Except it sucks.
I still prefer the poster for the Terminator, even if it does look like Arnold's wandered into an 80s disco.
Are you tired of the same ol' routine? Bustin yer hump and gettin' nowhere? Drop out an' join the ranks of the few . . .
Okay, so ignore the first minute of this weeks trailer -- Street Trash isn't some stoner comedy. Yeah, sure, it is funny, but it's so much more than a mere comedy/horror. The effects are truly gross (perhaps reminiscent of early Troma), and maybe a wee bit offensive. But it's all done in the name of fun. Street Trash may be cheesy, shoddy -- actually the latter part of it's title is accurate, but it's very much entertaining, and worth tracking down.
Our local cinema was pretty busy for this one, which is surprising. Scar 3D (2007) hasn't been given much publicity in this neck of the woods, and any review which I have read, has been pocketed away in the corner, its abysmal score highlighted more so than the meagre couple of lines devoted to it. But, heck, it is in 3D. And like myself, that's probably why so many people turned up. That's right, tap "3D" on the end of a title, and we'll turn up in droves.
Hailed as a 3D event, Scar 3D claims to be the first live action feature to be entirely shot in HD 3D. But don't be fooled by this simple boast; it wastes its gimmick, and the only entertaining scene is a striptease. That's right: the only memorable thing about this film is a pair of 3D jugs. And for the record, that's really sad.
On one hand, I really wanted to like this film: it's my first 3D horror film experience, and I've always been secretly jealous of those able to see Friday the 13th Part III 3D (1982), Parasite (1982) and even Jaws 3-D (1983) at the cinema. Sure, 3D films have been making a comeback, but most of them have been family friendly, adventure-filled pap. I want blood an' guts. I'm still holding out for Final Destination 4 to be released next year, and I'm bloody hoping it doesn't disappoint. Please, I can't endure another Scar 3D. I also love Angela Bettis (no, she doesn't annoy me at all), and could happily write about her contribution to the horror genre for days. Her role as the title-character in Lucky McKee's May (2002) horrified and moved me simultaneously, and as a result, won me over as a fan. But, on the other hand Scar 3D is just atrocious and no, not in the confusing "so bad its good" category, just plain bad. In terms of torture horror, this is the runt of the litter. While other torture horrors are running around yelping, and tearing shit to shreds, this one's still sprawled on it's ass, licking itself in inappropriate places. Don't ask me how you can sprawl on your ass, I'm just making a point.
Angela Bettis plays Joan Burrows, a thirtysomething returning to her hometown for her niece, Olympia's high school graduation. Sixteen years ago, however, Joan and her best friend were kidnapped by Bishop, the town undertaker who tortured them, playing a bizarre type of Sophie's Choice -- he'd stop cutting Joan, if she told him to kill her friend. Joan's pal died, and Joan escaped, killing Bishop in the process. In the present day, a copycat killer is offing the local teenagers, and with Olympia looking like a potential victim, it's up to Auntie Joan to save the day.
The action is beefed-up with several laborious flashbacks to Joan's ordeal with Bishop, showcasing how she earned the long scar flicked under her chin. Although we know what's going to unravel, it's here the acting is at its best and you truly believe that the girls are best friends, and terrified for each others survival. It's uncomfortable viewing. Saying this, Scar has some of the worst acting I've ever seen in a mainstream film. It really is cringe-worthy, especially when coupled with Zack Ford's absolutely dire script. Now, I'm certain the shock absorped most of my memory, but I think one exchange went something like this:
Olympia: "My Mom passed away sometime ago . . ."
Paul: "Oh. I'm sorry. So, did you remember your iPod?"
Yeah, I sure did, you insensitive bastard. That's what I'd say, but Olympia just acts all mushy. And stupid.
As with most torture horror, the blood-letting is pretty much unrelenting, and consequently, not much screen time is given for plot or even character development. It leaves behind a boring, clichéd affair, and the 3D element is pretty much redundant. A completely wasted effort.
Quite a wonderful combination, especially for me, the ever-geeky horror fan. Yes, I love my film-themed t-shirts (the more geeky/obscure, the better). But, they're normally designed for dudes, so they end up draped around my knees . . . well, aside from the ones which read "Vampire Bitch" and "Fucking Classy". Yes, I am a fucking classy vampire bitch. And I also make my Mother proud.
Rue Morgue, the leading publication for horror entertainment, has teamed up with Threadless.com for a design challenge. The concept is my favourite and yours: horror. That's right, so it'll be pretty darn easy. Yes, so easy that I won't be taking part. If you've got a passion for creating, and a groovy idea for a horror t-shirt, why not submit your idea? Your horrific design could win you a bunch of cool stuff like:
But that all depends, can you topple this mighty T'?
I fuckin' hope so. The closing date is December the 1st, folks.
I live in a tiny, teensy-weensy little town in the middle of Scotland. Everything closes at like, 10.00ish, aside from a few bars (and we know I get ID’d for everything). Therefore it is typically the bore. And the weather is also crap: it's cold, it's dark and it's windy -- not suitable for a girl with gorgeous locks of hair such as I. Oh, no! But my night isn't all doom and gloom: I've had to move about like a truck-load of furniture (I have biceps of steal), and I've uncovered some old VHS and a stack of DVDs which I'd forgotten about . . . Bad me. But good in the sense that I now have a bunch of awesome crap to watch! I mean, Hostel Part II . . . I think that one was okay, wasn't it? Anyway, I know it's so 2007, but I plan on writing something regarding the "Torture Porn" subgenre pretty soon. Even though I'm not a particular fan: my interest stems from the exploitation flicks of the 70s and early 80s (which I am a fan of -- well, the history at the very least), and torture porn seems to regurgitate some of those ideas/conventions, if pushing the barrier even more so.
Clara: “Have a nice party.”
Muffy: “Nice? It's gotta be better than nice. It's gotta be bloody unforgettable!”
April Fool's Day is a rarity in the horror field. On one hand, it's an 80s slasher, envisioned by the likes of Fred Walton, the guy who previously directed When a Stranger Calls (1979) and Frank Mancuso Jr, the producer of Friday the 13th Part II, III, The Final Chapter and A New Beginning (1982, 1983, 1984, 1985). So, we should know what we're letting ourselves in for, right?
Rather, I was pleasantly surprised when I'd ejected the DVD, and held it aloft with a twinkle in my eye, and a dopey grin on my face. You see, April Fool's Day is so much more than a standard 80s slash-fest. Sure, it revolves the narrative around a holiday, much like Halloween (1978), Christmas Evil (1980) and My Bloody Valentine (1981). But, and here lies a MASSIVE SPOILER: the rarity lies in the body count, which is a big-fat zero. Rather than feeling duped, and wanting to hurl my remote control at the TV, I instead wanted to hug the DVD case, and perhaps caress the disk a little bit. It's a crafty little film, which plays with the conventions of the slasher film, and as a result -- its audiences expectations. I know many people felt rather cheated when they viewed the ending (and oh, what an ending), but I'm firmly placed in the "Love" category.
The story is standard slash fare: A group of college friends are invited to the island estate of Muffy St. John (Deborah Foreman) for the weekend. Tragedy soon occurs on their journey (yes, they haven't even made their destination yet . . .) when a prank goes wrong and Buck is seriously hurt in a ferry accident.
The group watch in shock as he zooms off to the mainland, clutching his mangled face. But that's nothing copious alcohol can't solve as the friends party their troubles away. As they sit at dinner, chairs with bendy legs, drippy cups and a variety of other hilarious gags have been installed, courtesy of Muffy. The good mood begins to dissipate however, when Muffy's cousin Skip (Griffin O'Neal) and token motor-mouth Arch (Thomas F. Wilson) disappear -- of course, it could all be an elaborate prank, couldn't it? But pretty soon, Kitt (Amy Steele) has spotted a blood-splattered corpse drifting under the docks, and Nikki has fallen into a well overrun by the freshly strewn bodies of their friends. Of course, Muffy herself is also acting rather strangely: her quirky, innocent personality has shifted, and she's acting oddly, daydreaming about nothing and saying uncomfortable shit like:
Muffy: "Sometimes with the tides . . . it takes somebody all night to get here from the mainland. And even then sometimes . . . they don't make it."
It's now a case of whodunit, with the gnarled finger of suspicion pointing at the unfortunately-named Muffy. It doesn't put the friends at ease when they call the police, and they're told to "Stay away from Muffy". As the "body count" rises, and the climax draws closer, it's up to Kitt and her boyfriend, Rob (Ken Olandt) to piece together Muffy's murky past, including a twist that'll make you re-think the entire film.
Given the twist-ending, the film rises above conventional slasher films, providing something fresh and original, even if not entirely satisfying for some horror-fans. The performances by the young cast are certainly above-average, especially for such a modest budget -- Amy Steele once again makes a great protagonist, and Deborah Foreman is in turns sweet and creepy as Muffy/Buffy. The characters could have easily fallen into the stereotypes of standard horror films. Sure, there's the presence of the jock, the shy girl, the geek and the sex-kitten (of course, Deborah Goodrich embodies Nikki with enough energy and feist, adding more layers to the archetype than many of her predecessors).
