Our local cinema was pretty busy for this one, which is surprising. Scar 3D (2007) hasn't been given much publicity in this neck of the woods, and any review which I have read, has been pocketed away in the corner, its abysmal score highlighted more so than the meagre couple of lines devoted to it. But, heck, it is in 3D. And like myself, that's probably why so many people turned up. That's right, tap "3D" on the end of a title, and we'll turn up in droves.
Hailed as a 3D event, Scar 3D claims to be the first live action feature to be entirely shot in HD 3D. But don't be fooled by this simple boast; it wastes its gimmick, and the only entertaining scene is a striptease. That's right: the only memorable thing about this film is a pair of 3D jugs. And for the record, that's really sad.
On one hand, I really wanted to like this film: it's my first 3D horror film experience, and I've always been secretly jealous of those able to see Friday the 13th Part III 3D (1982), Parasite (1982) and even Jaws 3-D (1983) at the cinema. Sure, 3D films have been making a comeback, but most of them have been family friendly, adventure-filled pap. I want blood an' guts. I'm still holding out for Final Destination 4 to be released next year, and I'm bloody hoping it doesn't disappoint. Please, I can't endure another Scar 3D. I also love Angela Bettis (no, she doesn't annoy me at all), and could happily write about her contribution to the horror genre for days. Her role as the title-character in Lucky McKee's May (2002) horrified and moved me simultaneously, and as a result, won me over as a fan. But, on the other hand Scar 3D is just atrocious and no, not in the confusing "so bad its good" category, just plain bad. In terms of torture horror, this is the runt of the litter. While other torture horrors are running around yelping, and tearing shit to shreds, this one's still sprawled on it's ass, licking itself in inappropriate places. Don't ask me how you can sprawl on your ass, I'm just making a point.
Angela Bettis plays Joan Burrows, a thirtysomething returning to her hometown for her niece, Olympia's high school graduation. Sixteen years ago, however, Joan and her best friend were kidnapped by Bishop, the town undertaker who tortured them, playing a bizarre type of Sophie's Choice -- he'd stop cutting Joan, if she told him to kill her friend. Joan's pal died, and Joan escaped, killing Bishop in the process. In the present day, a copycat killer is offing the local teenagers, and with Olympia looking like a potential victim, it's up to Auntie Joan to save the day.
The action is beefed-up with several laborious flashbacks to Joan's ordeal with Bishop, showcasing how she earned the long scar flicked under her chin. Although we know what's going to unravel, it's here the acting is at its best and you truly believe that the girls are best friends, and terrified for each others survival. It's uncomfortable viewing. Saying this, Scar has some of the worst acting I've ever seen in a mainstream film. It really is cringe-worthy, especially when coupled with Zack Ford's absolutely dire script. Now, I'm certain the shock absorped most of my memory, but I think one exchange went something like this:
Olympia: "My Mom passed away sometime ago . . ."
Paul: "Oh. I'm sorry. So, did you remember your iPod?"
Yeah, I sure did, you insensitive bastard. That's what I'd say, but Olympia just acts all mushy. And stupid.
As with most torture horror, the blood-letting is pretty much unrelenting, and consequently, not much screen time is given for plot or even character development. It leaves behind a boring, clichéd affair, and the 3D element is pretty much redundant. A completely wasted effort.
