Movie Review: Scar 3D

Movie Review: Scar 3D

Dir. Jed Weintrob

Our local cinema was pretty busy for this one, which is surprising. Scar 3D (2007) hasn't been given much publicity in this neck of the woods, and any review which I have read, has been pocketed away in the corner, its abysmal score highlighted more so than the meagre couple of lines devoted to it. But, heck, it is in 3D. And like myself, that's probably why so many people turned up. That's right, tap "3D" on the end of a title, and we'll turn up in droves.

Hailed as a 3D event, Scar 3D claims to be the first live action feature to be entirely shot in HD 3D. But don't be fooled by this simple boast; it wastes its gimmick, and the only entertaining scene is a striptease. That's right: the only memorable thing about this film is a pair of 3D jugs. And for the record, that's really sad.

On one hand, I really wanted to like this film: it's my first 3D horror film experience, and I've always been secretly jealous of those able to see Friday the 13th Part III 3D (1982), Parasite (1982) and even Jaws 3-D (1983) at the cinema. Sure, 3D films have been making a comeback, but most of them have been family friendly, adventure-filled pap. I want blood an' guts. I'm still holding out for Final Destination 4 to be released next year, and I'm bloody hoping it doesn't disappoint. Please, I can't endure another Scar 3D. I also love Angela Bettis (no, she doesn't annoy me at all), and could happily write about her contribution to the horror genre for days. Her role as the title-character in Lucky McKee's May (2002) horrified and moved me simultaneously, and as a result, won me over as a fan. But, on the other hand Scar 3D is just atrocious and no, not in the confusing "so bad its good" category, just plain bad. In terms of torture horror, this is the runt of the litter. While other torture horrors are running around yelping, and tearing shit to shreds, this one's still sprawled on it's ass, licking itself in inappropriate places. Don't ask me how you can sprawl on your ass, I'm just making a point.

Angela Bettis plays Joan Burrows, a thirtysomething returning to her hometown for her niece, Olympia's high school graduation. Sixteen years ago, however, Joan and her best friend were kidnapped by Bishop, the town undertaker who tortured them, playing a bizarre type of Sophie's Choice -- he'd stop cutting Joan, if she told him to kill her friend. Joan's pal died, and Joan escaped, killing Bishop in the process. In the present day, a copycat killer is offing the local teenagers, and with Olympia looking like a potential victim, it's up to Auntie Joan to save the day.

The action is beefed-up with several laborious flashbacks to Joan's ordeal with Bishop, showcasing how she earned the long scar flicked under her chin. Although we know what's going to unravel, it's here the acting is at its best and you truly believe that the girls are best friends, and terrified for each others survival. It's uncomfortable viewing. Saying this, Scar has some of the worst acting I've ever seen in a mainstream film. It really is cringe-worthy, especially when coupled with Zack Ford's absolutely dire script. Now, I'm certain the shock absorped most of my memory, but I think one exchange went something like this:

Olympia: "My Mom passed away sometime ago . . ."
Paul: "Oh. I'm sorry. So, did you remember your iPod?"
Yeah, I sure did, you insensitive bastard. That's what I'd say, but Olympia just acts all mushy. And stupid.

As with most torture horror, the blood-letting is pretty much unrelenting, and consequently, not much screen time is given for plot or even character development. It leaves behind a boring, clichéd affair, and the 3D element is pretty much redundant. A completely wasted effort.

Movie Review: Vampire Diary

Vampire Diary (2007)

Dir. Mark James & Phil O'Shea

I hadn't heard about Vampire Diary until I'd read the review in the September issue of Fangoria. They'd proudly declared the film "Video of the Month", and given the review a nice, distinctive border -- dividing it from such tosh like Dracula's Guest and Hybrid (a tale of some poor sap, who during a transplant, has been given the eyes of a wolf --yes, really). Make no mistake, Vampire Diary may differ in quality, but it's low budget practically screams from the word go. For example: most of the sequences outside of the grimy, London clubs were filmed in one of the Director's apartments. Although a rather cramped environment, this provides the film with a greater sense of intimacy, focusing on the characters as opposed to details in the background. Even when our characters are on the run, and there is a City-wide search for them, all we hear is sirens and flickering news footage. It detaches the meager cast from the rest of the world, making their status as outcasts even more plausible.

The plot is another "found footage" affair, stemming from a sub genre which includes horror classic, The Blair Witch Project (1999), George Romero's Diary of the Dead (2007), Cloverfield (2008), [REC] (2007), and The Zombie Diaries (2006). Where the forgotten footage sub genre was rather fresh in the late 90s, it's now feeling a little bit stale, earning its own set of cliches. However, Vampire Diary does succeed in bringing new ideas to the fold -- a marvellous thing too, given the small production values. The story in question unfolds through the camera lens of Holly (the wonderfully Scottish-sounding Morven Macbeth), a young film maker who's producing a documentary on "weekend vampires"-- a cult of Goths who prance around London, dressed-up as vampires, complete with fangs. They're known as The Kindred, and they're a friendly bunch:

Holly is unfazed, but one night, when she is taping her particular band of subjects, she notices another vampy-looking woman filming her. Vicki (Hellboy II's Anna Walton) is a blood sucker with a difference -- she lacks fangs, saunters around in the daylight and kills her victims using a bolt-gun before slurping their blood. She also doesn't sleep in a coffin, which is lucky for Holly as Vicki is soon sharing her bed. But, Holly isn't aware of her girlfriend's origins until members of the Goth clique start dying, and Vicki-the-vampire confesses, showing her footage of the killings. Holly is horrified, but searches for new ways for Vicki to control her blood lust. In one sequence they try to rob a blood bank, only to appear in the news for their efforts. Their situation, however, is further complicated as the police draw closer, and Vicki reveals she is pregnant with a vampire baby.

The presentation of the vampire as a possible serial killer has been done before --most notably perhaps, in George Romero's fantastic Martin (1977), which also blurs the boundaries of psychological drama and disturbing horror -- is Martin a vampire or just really fucked-up? The debate regarding Vicki's vampirism is handled much the same, and is played about through out the film. The debate itself has even divided Writer/co-Director Phil O'Shea, Mark James and Producer Michael Riley. Taken from Fangoria #276:

"I'm never in any doubt that she is," says O'Shea unequivocally -- and as scriptwriter, ought to know. "One thing that concerned me was that if we made the film and transpired that she was not a vampire, horror audiences might feel a bit disappointed and let down." But Riley disagrees: "In my opinion, she is not a vampire. She shows how a smart, intelligent, sexy woman can manipulate people into thinking certain things. And she gets away with it. There's nothing, as far as I'm concerned, in the film that says absolutely, unequivocally that she's a supernatural monster. What she does is totally physical." That leaves James . . . "We always liked the idea of playing with the question of whether she is or not, and wanting to leave it open . . . You have to make your own mind up. I don't think I can really say."

Vampire Diary successfully avoids the pitfalls of the lesbian vampire sub genre -- this isn't an exploitation film, glorifying nudity or gore (even though there is plenty of each). It's more of a drama, a character study -- the idea that we're witnessing everything through the lens of Holly and Vicky's camera makes scenes travel at a choppy, comic book-like speed, disrupting the overall pace of the narrative. Although this may seem a bit disorientating, it provides a wider insight into the nature of Vicky and Holly's relationship -- we see their highs, and their lows -- their fights and make-up sex. Walton and Macbeth both play their parts beautifully -- Vicki is given enough vulnerability to underline her savage tendencies, whilst displaying a life-long sense of loneliness, and Holly's pushy edge dissolves as she does everything to protect her lover, and feed her.

Aside from this, Vampire Diary isn't without it's faults -- there's the usual quibbles and inconsistencies when it comes to documentary-style films: are the characters really that obsessed in film making? Oh, that's convenient, there's an ideal camera ledge right above their bath tub . . .There acting ability also varies when it comes to the co-stars, and the music is often rather intrusive -- but I guess it comes with the territory of such a film. Of course, these are minor, and it's easier to commend the film, especially given its tight budget. Vampire Diary may not be astounding film making, and it's not for everyone, but it's unique in its own twisted way, and you could do a whole lot worse than check this little film out.

Movie Review: Outpost

Outspost (2008)

Dir. Steve Barker

"What the hell's Outpost? A horror film with zombies and Nazis?"
"Nooooo! A horror movie with zombie Nazis."

Yes, despite my razor-sharp intellect and Audry Hepburn sophistication, that was sadly how I was sold on Steve Barker's Outpost, a horror movie with, yes, a wee army of undead Nazis at its disposal -- or lack of, actually. The plot is simple, and is typical of such horror/action hybrids. We follow a "battle-hardened team of mercenaries", who've been paid loads by dodgy engineer, Hunt to go on some secret mission in an old, underground Nazi bunker. The team is composed of a variety of nationalities; an American, a Scotsman, a Somalian, a couple of English folks and an Irish man. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, doesn't it? But Outpost isn't played for laughs; it aims to be a straight-up, gruff horror/action movie. A man's movie!! Grrr! Heck, even the quotation-thingy on the DVD case comes from trashy lad's mag, Nuts: "Gory, disturbing . . . we love it".

Fuck, my fingers feel like they're shrivelling up after typing that shit. Never mind, back to the movie . . .The team are targeted as soon as they arrive at the bunker, and despite their expertise, one of their team-mates is shot. Taking shelter in the bunker, they discover a room piled with naked corpses and a sadistic-lookin' machine, which Hunt is drawn to. It transpires that the Nazis had been using the machine in an attempt to create some kind of "Nazi super soldier". It's here that the film tries to sound technical, pulling in the theories of Albert Einstein, and pseudo scientific explanations that aren't needed. It ultimately makes the mediocre script clunker, weighing down the action and dragging out the plot.

Although low budget, Outpost is a good first attempt by Barker. The single setting is made all the more atmospheric with its dull, grim lights and claustrophobic corridors. Characterisation isn't privy here, and our team are largely defined by their accents more than anything else. Coupled with the dull lightening, it can even get confusing at which mercenary you're watching. The mere notion that it's soldiers in the fray will instantly draw parallels with British director, Neil Marshall's superior Dog Soldiers (2002). The Nazis themselves truly are creepy figures, appearing out of the mist mirroring the zombie-like ghosts in John Carpenters The Fog (1980), their faces are slate-grey, features hidden under the shadows of their bulky helmets. They're a terrifying, unnerving bunch.

Following the recent flurry of British horror, Outpost follows the standard visceral, bleak ending a la Eden Lake (2008). And without giving away a major spoiler in the narrative, it does seem like a bit of a cop-out. It's an easy way to draw an emotional response from an audience without coming up with a well-rounded ending. However, it may be that final, lingering shot which unnerves.

Spoilers; Eden Lake

Right, so I wasn't really planning on writing spoilers. But, it seems like folk are actually wanting to know the gory details, so I've tagged them on at the end of the review. I have to admit, I ended up detailing the entire film mostly, but keep in mind that I've only seen Eden Lake once!

Basically, if I've missed anything crucial out, it's cool if you mention it. Just, you know, also be aware that I wrote it down in haste!

Eden Lake; Review and Spoilers