Spoilers; Eden Lake

Right, so I wasn't really planning on writing spoilers. But, it seems like folk are actually wanting to know the gory details, so I've tagged them on at the end of the review. I have to admit, I ended up detailing the entire film mostly, but keep in mind that I've only seen Eden Lake once!

Basically, if I've missed anything crucial out, it's cool if you mention it. Just, you know, also be aware that I wrote it down in haste!

Eden Lake; Review and Spoilers

Movie Review: Eden Lake

Eden Lake (2008)

Dir. James Watkins

Warning; for this article, spoilers lurk at the end of this review.

Yeah, I know. I promised I'd have this review up, like ten days ago. I'm a very bad girl. But only in the nicest possible way. It's cool, trust me; your Mom knows what I mean. Ha! I'm only joking . . . yeah, the old jokes never ware thin in this household. Anyway, lets just get on to the movie review, shall we? Yes, I think we should. Preferably before I start spouting more bile.

'Feral Youth' is a subject widely publicised in contemporary Britain, particularly where the tabloids are concerned. You can normally find entire articles dedicated to Chavs/Neds wedged between pictures of Amy Winehouse's latest bust-up and a piece dealing with a gay Footballer. Yeah, the British tabloids are that flexible.

Okay, so the articles in question are generally classed as scaremongering at its shittiest, but these stories (believe it or not!) are occasionally derived from real-life occurrences. Right, I'm going to make another bold (and henceforth stupid) maneuver, and I am going to state this: I do not like Neds. If you're a Ned, I hate you -- well, actually I don't care about you enough to hate you, let's just say I express a strong dislike for you -- like mince. Yeah, you're like mince to me. Chances are, if you're a decent person, and you've ever encountered a Ned, you'll dislike them also. Oh, and btw, Ned stands for: Non-educated delinquent or something. Which fits perfectly. And make no mistake, the villains who roam James Watkins' Eden Lake are not like Burgess and Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange, where Alex and his droogs are running amok. No, these villains, (although it's still a standard Youth vs Age affair), aren't intelligent, cultured or witty. They're knife-welding, music-blasting, violent, little thugs. I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

The film follows London couple, Steve and Jenny on a romantic break to Eden Lake (Dun dun duun), a beautiful, isolated getaway, where Steve (Michael Fassbender, he of Hex fame and CGI epic, 300) plans to propose to Jenny (Kelly Reilly). However, our couple soon cross paths with the local yobs, and early attempts at being civil soon deteriorate into a horrendous, bloody chase through the woodland.

What happens next is truly grueling and uncomfortable to watch. The scene where Steve is tied-up, and filmed via a mobile phone while various members of the young gang stab him acts as a prime example. It's like an article stolen from the pages of The Daily Record or The Sun, displayed in gruesome detail. It's up to school teacher, Jenny and her bloody flimsy shoes to save the day (watch the film; you'll see what I mean, man). Watching her character deteriorate onscreen is a heart aching affair as Reilly makes her so damn sweet.

The film is vicious and relentless; just as it seems like, "Oh that's a spot of luck. They're going to be alright", Watkins pitches his main characters further into a hellish nightmare. As the ending arrived, I was hoping for the standard outsiders-get-revenge routine, even though it is cliched. Sometimes, Eden Lake just seemed like one bloody chase. Of course, my opinion may be passed on the fact that the gang leader is just so unlikeable. Honestly, he's a smart-arsed prick, but fantastically acted all the same.

Of course, Eden Lake does nothing for rural working class communities, and it is a shame (perhaps some decent folk peppered around the narrative would have evened up the odds?). Instead, the youth and their parents are portrayed as nothing more than drunken, violent, snarling white trash. In this sense, the film retreads ancient ground, touching upon films such as Straw Dogs (which follows similar ideas of intelligent outsiders being victimised by primitive locals), Last House on the Left and I Spit On Your Grave, sharing a similar sense of barbarity and gritty, hopeless characters.

Eden Lake's ending is bleak and raw, and for me, that is the films downfall; although it isn't a bad film, not by any means, it also isn't enjoyable or entertaining. The protagonists struggle through every frame, and we feel as though we're trudging along with them, on the edge, heart pounding, wondering when it will all end. Still, Eden Lake is a brilliant slice of modern-day horror, representing a fear relevant in contemporary Britain.

Here be spoilers;

Steve and Jenny have travelled to Eden Lake, a quiet, isolated venture in the countryside. Steve's apparently visited before, and thinks it's the ideal place to propose. They walk through the woodlands, obviously happy. Jenny sees a young boy doing some sort of Biology homework. She tries to talk to him, but he says his mum says he's not supposed to speak to strangers. Jenny smiles, and leaves him to finish his work.

Upon getting there, they're disappointed to see a group of teenagers hanging around, listening to music while their rottweiler barks at Jenny. But, undeterred, our couple begin to relax. It isn't until later, that the youth let their dog off its leash, and laugh as it barks at Jenny further, snarling in her face. Steve has had enough; he approaches the gang, and asks them to control their pet, albeit in a civil manner. They laugh at him, and throw insults.

Later that night, Jenny gets the feeling someone is watching them. She asks Steven to go outside their tent and check. He comes back laughing; there's no one there. After their second night, Steve wakes up to find that someone has stolen his bag -- where he kept his car keys and mobile phone. Clearly pissed-off, he's even more distraught to find that his Jeep is gone. Walking through the woods, they hear the roar of an engine, and Steve's jeep comes crashing through the woods, nearly running into Jenny.

They find the young gang at a fire, drinking. It's obvious they've stolen the car, and Steve's mobile -- the leader is even wearing Steve's sunglasses. The rottweiler is chained, but barks as he approaches. Steve calmly asks for his stuff back. The youths draw pocketknives, and a fight breaks out -- the leader's rottweiler is accidentally killed by Steve. The couple somehow get into the car and put the foot down. In the dark, with the headlights broken, Steve crashes. Stuck and badly hurt, he persuades Jenny to run and get help, but with the gang looking for her, she hides until morning.

The morning after, Jenny sneaks around the woodland, and eventually finds the jeep; Steve is gone. She finds him tied to a tree-trunk, the gang around him, the leader snarling in his face; he's threatening to kill Jenny when he finds her. The leader then gets everyone else to stab Steve, while the female of the gang films it on her mobile phone. This is to further ensure that everyone is involved now. As Steve is badly injured, the gang find Jenny and chase her.

Steve escapes, and runs into Jenny. It's obvious that he's seriously wounded -- perhaps dying, but Jenny helps him, and they hide in a hut by the lake. He then tells her that he was planning on asking her to marry him, and he starts talking about their future honeymoon. Jenny tells him she will marry him, but she'll have to get help first. She leaves him hidden amongst the long grass by the lake.

Encountering the young boy she'd previously met, Jenny asks him to use his phone to get her help. He says he can't get a signal, but his mum's coming to pick him up, and she can get help then. It's obvious the boy is lying; he tells Jenny he's playing a game on his phone, but she discovers that he's sent a text, straight to the gang. They arrive, attack Jenny and knock her out.

When she awake, she find herself tied down, beside her lies Steve --who's now dead. The leader douses them in gasoline, and tries to get the young boy to light her. The leader says he can join the gang, if he does. The boy panics, and says no. Steve is set alight. Jenny screams as she watches him burn beside her, feeling the heat of the fire spread alongside her. Again everything is filmed via mobile phone. The leader looses patience with the young boy, and starts to douse him in gasoline. The fire burns away the rope, and Jenny runs away. She hears the young boy scream as he too, is set alight.

Jenny is now a mess; she's bloody, caked in mud and completely broken. She's like a mad woman, wandering about the woodland. She grabs a shard of glass, and one of the younger gang members approaches her, alone. She turns round and stabs him in the neck, and then realisation grips her; she holds the boy, sobbing and apologising. But it's too late. He dies.

The leader is loosing the respect of his gang; the young boy that Jenny killed has been found. Another boy says he's leaving; the leader beats him up, possibly killing him. The girl with the mobile phone runs into the woodland. She's had too much as well.

Jenny falls into a road, and his nearly run over. The car stops, and gives her a lift. The man tells her that he's coming to pick up his brother. Jenny demands to be let out; he's the brother of one of the gang members, and he'll possibly kill her. He doesn't know what she's on about, but he stops the car when he sees a boy, a gang member emerge from the woodlands. Jenny takes her opportunity and steals the car.

She's driving along, and the female gang member run out into her path. Jenny puts her foot down, running her over, and killing her. Weak, she makes it into town, but crashes the car. She stumbles out, and comes across a party, the people watch as she passes out.

Waking up again, she begs them for help, they laugh and tell her she's had to much to drink. Then Jenny sees the rottweiler, and another empty bowl. She sees the family pictures and realises that she's at the gang leaders house. She runs to the toilet, locking herself in. She raids the cupboards and finds a knife. The leader returns home, tells his parents that Jenny killed his friends. The leader's dad belts him, and decides that they need to act. The adults break into the toilet, Jenny tries to defend herself, but to no avail. The men drag her back into the bathroom, and all we hear are her screams. The leader returns to his bedroom, and looks into his mirror. Alone.

Groovy Website: Survive the Outbreak!

Soooo, we don't have a "Groovy Website of the Week/Month/Whatever", but I encountered a website today which is seriously making me reconsider.

Yes, if I had a fuckin' awesome award, this site would devour it whole.

Survive the outbreak is basically a 'Zombie choose your own adventure movie'.

You know, like those books you used to read as a kid . . . but with zombies, man! I used to be addicted to them, so now I'm pushing homework aside (again), and procrastinating for the next half an hour or so . . .

Art: Troma

Ever since I've seen The Toxic Avenger, I've had a soft spot for Troma. You know, those guys who make those purposely trashy, but always interesting independent Horror flicks.

Well, I lie; The Toxic Avenger wasn't by first venture into Troma -- believe it or not, but I was actually introduced by weekday cartoon, The Toxic Crusaders, which was fabulous, if sadly short-lived. Still, I can remember the theme tune fondly. Man, it was rockin'.

What're your favourite Troma movies? Here's mine;

When I donned my Vamp fangs for Halloween, my brother called me a name which related to this films title. No. Actually, that reminds me; he called me a "Vampire bitch". Wee prick. Of course, being the lady that I am, I delivered a swift hook to tha gut in response.

One lazy bitch!

Hey, guys

Sorry for the piss-poor updates. No excuse.

I've seen some freakin' awesome Horror movies recently, and I'll get some reviews up in the next couple of days;

I've still got a review of Eden Lake coming up, as well as another excellent British Horror, Outpost.

Oh, and Halloween is coming up! Where the hell are your costumes?! I hope you've got something sorted out? Halloween is the season for the Horror buff. I'll have some "Ooh Recommendations" Coming up too!

Movie Review: Doomsday

Doomsday (2008)

Dir. Neil Marshall

Following on from the success of Dog Soldiers and The Descent, Neil Marshall’s third feature is a more buffed-up, explosive affair. A concoction derived from Aliens, The Warriors, Mad Max and Escape from New York, the action dizzyingly swifts from a diseased-ridden futuristic London, to apocalyptic Scotland and then it's quickly off to the Medieval Highlands for some swordplay. Oh yeah, and then there's a mad car chase involving a brand-spankin' new Bentley. And a slightly modified bus.

Aesthetically, Doomsday is rich and multi-layered; it's interesting to see the many visions of a Dystopian society, particularly in direct contrast with each other. But this doesn't make for a smooth narrative -- the plot is jarring, and the rapid shift in settings (especially when it's in the same bloody Country!) leaves behind boulder-sized plot holes -- why the need to resort to cannibalism when there are so many bloody cows around?!

The plot in question concerns the deadly Reaper virus. Years ago, it lay waste to Scotland; with the threat running rampant, the simplest idea was to wall off the entire Country, keeping the 'infected' at bay with giant machine guns surrounding the perimeter -- an idea illustrated by horrible bunny death! Thirty years later, and the Reaper virus begins to creep back, striking in an overcrowded London. Through the use of satellite imagery, the Government learns that there are survivors in the grimy Scottish cities, meaning that there must also be a cure. Led by Major Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra), a team of soldiers and scientists are sent beyond the wall, hoping to track down Dr Kane (Malcolm McDowell), who may or may not have the cure.

After the Aliens style battle, where our heroes battle angry Glaswegians, it all goes a bit Mad Max when the leader, Sol (and son of Dr Kane) captures our team, treating them to a primitive can-can, complete with pole dancers before making with the cannibalism. The make-up of the marauders here is intriguing, if a tad unoriginal. They jump around, looking like a snarling, venomous version of that teenage-drama show, The Tribe. The big showdown exists in the slightly Lord of the Rings-esque Highlands and cultivates in a marvellous, if stupid car chase down a deserted motorway.

In terms of acting, Bob Hoskins and Malcolm McDowell add a touch of class to the fray. However, the burden lies on Rhona Mitra's shoulders as tough-as-old-boots Eden Sinclair. To put it mildly, she's no Linda Hamilton -- Mitra may be able to snarl out the odd swear word, and cart around a badass weapon, but she lacks charisma and remains ineffectual. The rest of the cast aren't much better, and ultimately, unlike the characters which populate the films Doomsday pays homage to, we don't really care about them.

Although Doomsday is an 80's homage/science fiction/fantasy hybrid, there's no shortage of gore -- heads are blown off, bodies are ran over, people are cooked alive -- blood is strewn across the screen in bucketfuls, even splattering against the camera in one particular fight with a solder and a Knight. Pretty soon our team's mission deteriorates into nothing but a primal game of survival. And that's just fine. The plot at this point is unimportant -- Doomsday may be inconsistent gobbledygook, but it's enjoyable gobbledygook. Just remember to leave your brain behind, and enjoy the bumpy ride.

Coming soon! Eden Lake and Doomsday

Just seen two British films: James Watkins Eden Lake (2008) and Neil Marshall's Doomsday (2008) back-to-back. Reviews coming soon, kids!


Just a small note: while major spoilers will be kept out of the reviews, they're welcomed in the comments section. You know I heartily endorse discussion, and I LOVE to hear different opinions.

Art: Frankenstein

That ain't a kids film!

"Children's" films can be scary too

Everyone can pick some obscure, creepy flick from their childhood which scared them ridged, right? You know, the type of film you look back upon and think: WTF!? Who decided to market this shit to kids?! I once had a friend who was terrified from Postman Pat. Yes, I know, sad, but true. It's the size of his nose, she told me, it just like, completely dominates his face. And you know what? I can kinda see where she was coming from. So, anyway, I was just thinking (as I'm sometimes inclined to do), and decided to compile a list of the films which scared the crap outta me in my youth. Ahh . . . drum roll, please.

******

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)

Oh, c'mon, many a childhood nightmare was based on this guy! You cannot have a list of childhood villains and not have him making an appearance. Yes, it's that man in serious need of a nose job, the Child-catcher. Like a 60s wicked witch, he lures children into his hybrid wagon/cage-thing with the promise of sweets and other niceties. What a sneaky bastard. If it were a horror movie, you know the kids would get revenge, echoing The Hills Have Eyes. Jeeze-oh, at this point you're bound to think; "What an utter scum-sucking bitch! She's totally got a vendetta against people with above-average noses! I'm gonna rip her a new one!" Can I just point out that that isn't the case? I mean, I totally dig Tim Roth as much as the next person.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Where to start with this one? There's far too much material to work with here. Lets see, for starters there's the numerous 'disappearances' in Wonka's deathtrap of a chocolate factory. Witnessing Augustus Gloop getting sucked up the giant, chocolate tube-thing was a horrible image, made all the worse that Wonka simply didn't give a shit. I don't care what anyone else says! That man was cold! Aside from the Oompa Loompas, (who illustrated the onscreen carnage via sing-song), there is also the fuckin' demented boat ride down the fuckin' disgusting chocolate river, where we, the family are greeted to an image of a chicken getting it's head chopped off. Nice.

Return to Oz (1985)

Despite it's Oz connection, make no mistake, this film isn't like The Wizard of Oz. There's no Judy Garland nor is there the presence of happy, singing Munchkins. Instead, Dorothy is sent to some dodgy psychiatric hospital where she is given shock treatment in a desperate bid to cure her "fantasies" of Oz. And this is only the beginning, folks. There are strange, seemingly doped-up characters called Wheelers, who incidentally, have wheels in place of hands and feet. There's also the awesome Mombie, who has a collection of living heads, which she can switch around, like a collection of shoes -- fleshy, eye-rolling shoes. Scariest scene is of a headless Mombie chasing Dorothy, while her head watches on, commanding her strange twig-like body to catch her.

The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

Another Disney oldie that I haven't seen in ages. I'm certain I have the DVD lurking about somewhere, perhaps buried knee-deep amongst the other piles of DVDs scattered around the joint. If you like old, largely forgotten Disney movies, then this is one to look out for. The image of a ghostly, blindfolded girl appearing in the mirrors is unforgettable. A great Disney "ghost" story.

Oooh, recommendations!

Right, so basically highlighting how bloody cool and rock-solid I was as a kid, I asked 'Santa' to bring me this for Christmas;


See no Evil was a great find. I first heard of it from a review in Empire, and sought it out afterwards. I was 13, and totally looking forward to dipping into it on Christmas day (yes, that would be ma highlight. Screw the chocolates, and the family-togetherness). Imagine my disappointment when my Mum reported that dearest Dad had flicked through the pages, and then put it down in disgust; "We can't give this to our darling daughter; there's naked women in this . . . and a certain degree of violence."
Heh. No shit. It was the best book ever. Well, in all honesty, my outlook wasn't quite like that; I was interested in banned film and video controversy, particularly in relation to the notorious Video Nasties, which I was too young to have known about. This book was a goldmine, opening my eyes to a plethora of films that I had to get my hands on including: The Beyond, The Evil Dead, The Last House on the Left, Shogun Assassin, Zombie Flesh Eaters, Dead and Buried, Cannibal Holocaust and Tenebrae.

See no Evil gives a history of the subsequent Video Nasties and the Video Recordings act 1984, which followed. Giving a detailed synopsis of the films on the list -- including such utter shite as Don't Go in the Woods . . . Alone! (1980), which is one of those rare films that makes you wanna gouge out your eyeballs with a rusty knife. Got your doubts? Go Here.

Next on the list is the Eyeball Compendium, a fantastic book from FAB press. It contains articles from Eyeball magazine 1989 - 2002. With interviews, reviews and other features, it's definitely worth checking out their website, and eBay as some of their books are now out of print.

Again, stemming from my interest in video nasties, is this simple, but informative pictorial reference to 70s 80s exploitation film. Ignoring the ghastly content of the 'nasties' in question, Shock! Horror! Astounding Artwork from the Video Nasty Era examines the censorship surrounding the films themselves, and raises interesting arguments. Also has an extremely handy note regarding DVD availability in the UK.

Nightmare USA: The Untold Story of the Exploit Independents is a detailed encyclopedia of trash/horror/exploitation cinema. Packed within it's 528 LARGE pages, is a variety of interviews, essays and reviews. Scoot over to the FAB Press website to have a more detailed look. It's a must have for anyone interested in Grindhouse cinema.

Note: I don't actually own this. But I'd really, really like to. If any of my FANTASTIC friends are reading this, I'd just like to point out that my birthday is coming up. It's £40.00, (£25.00 on Amazon!) and you can probably pick it up from any good retailer. I asked a friend to buy me it last year, and she was all like; "I'm no' spendin' forty quid on a bloody book!" Ha, good times . . .

Box art: Return of the Living Dead!

Return of the Living Dead

Because you were home

The Strangers (2008)

Directed by Bryan Bertino

So, I managed to "convince" a friend to see this with me at our local cinema. I was pretty psyched -- the trailers successfully created a thick, stomach-churning air of tension . . . and okay, the masks looked pretty freaky. Man, I was even drawn towards the posters -- the one with 'Dollface' and an overly large knife was reminiscent of an 80s slasher. For some reason, the line "Because you were home." struck out to me -- the motivation of the killers or more precisely, lack of, is terrifying (it reminds me of Halloween in relation to the Bogeyman without a motivation -- okay, so the sequels quickly diminished that idea, but that's another story for another time). However, in terms of narrative, it is also The Strangers downfall.

The film revolves around Kirsten and James, who are spending the night at an isolated Summer home. The evening is tense -- flashbacks reveal that Kirsten turned down James' marriage proposal earlier on. But their night gets worse with the appearance of The Strangers, a trio of masked psychos out to kill them. It's a game of cat and mouse, as Kirsten and James fight for survival. Do they survive, and more importantly are you going to give a damn?

The cinema, much to my utter disgust, was filled with loud, excitable teenyboppers. You know, the kind that chat/giggle constantly, and cannot go a mere moment without their mobile phones in their sweaty little palms. Now, I don't mind teenyboppers, it's just the kind that are like; "OMG, we're in the dark! Nobody can see us! Let's act like Jackasses and make various animal noises!", that just severely piss me off, and ruin everyone's movie-going experience. And we all want to have a good movie-going experience, right? Yes, we do. Anyway, I was actually wrong this time round; the audience were great, (save a small group of knob-heads who resided like scum, clinging to the sides of the cinema) they jumped at the right bits, screamed and then laughed afterwards. I love it when a film gets a reaction from an audience. It makes the film all the more enjoyable, don't you think? And The Strangers does aim to supply those jumpy moments!

On account of this, The Strangers is a very visual film, and I mean this specifically in terms of beginning, middle and end -- there's little dialogue and a hell of a lot of screaming/crying/atmospheric noise, particularly and annoyingly from Tyler's character. I mean, if I had my ears stuffed with Cotton wool and folded closed with the use of a clothes peg (I know, why the fuck would I do that?! Still, bare with me; I'm trying to make a point somewhere) I'd still be able to understand what was happening, and in great intricate detail. The story is basically furthered by action and very little else. It could've been a fuckin' silent movie, and folk with Charlie Chaplin masks could've been the killers, and we'd still know what was going on . . . hmm, an idea there?

I like dialogue. I like learning about characters, their personalities and how they interact within the narrative. I like characters which evolve. We don't get that here. The ideas presented in the beginning of the film are quickly dispatched, making way for the home invasion. What we DO get is a handful of scares laced together with eerie music, serving to build up dramatic tension. All in all, it makes for a pretty standard horror flick. The Strangers doesn't try to be anything more, and it succeeds.

Liv Tyler's character was an insult. But, I guess where there's a Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson or Sidney Prescott, there's always going to be a Kirsten McKay. That's the slang from now on, strictly between you and me. If someones a whiny crybaby, who can't look after themselves, they're a Kirsten. If they think it's cool for the guy-with-the-shotgun to leave them. In the house. Alone with at least 3 fuckin' psychos, whose motivation doesn't exist beyond; "Ah, well, you just happened to be on the scene . . . we were kinda bored. It is a Saturday night". Then they're a Kirsten. Her husband gets an injury from trying to protect himself and her. Kirsten twists her bloody ankle trying to run away. But who's worse? There's also the useless husband with a shotgun and an endless supply of ammo -- well, not endless, but enough to do the job, man. The end result is that we don't really care for the characters, rending the film flat, aiming only to supply the scares.

Monstrous Mothers

Mothers in horror films

Right, this isn't a blog post celebrating the beautiful, the brave, the strong nor the plain wicked awesome. So, sorry to disappoint, but you wont be finding Sarah Conner's bulging biceps rippling through this post. And don't even expect the Alien Queen to be making an appearance -- she's far too badass! Nope, this space is dedicated for the downright deranged, wicked and generally fuckin' scary;


Psycho
Norman Bates was so severely affected by his Mother, that after her death he began donning the Granny-fashion, adopting her voice and her mannerisms -- which includes murdering young woman and anyone threatening to destroy his Mummy delusion. Oh yeah, he also keeps her crusty ol' corpse in her favourite rocking chair. Ah, family love.




Carrie
Piper Laurie's uber freaky performance as Margaret White makes Sissy Spacek's Carrie all the more poignant, and provides a deeper sense of hopelessness. Margaret White is a dominating figure; an obsessive, religious nut who deems her daughter's telekinetic powers stem from the devil. When her daughter finally stands against her and skedaddles to the Prom with that stud, Tommy Ross, Margaret is home, thinking of the many ways a nutcase like herself can help her daughter. . .

I mean, look how fucking gleeful she looks with a knife!




A Nightmare on Elm Street
Okay, so specifically speaking, Marge Thompson isn't deranged nor is she wicked. BUT, while her daughter is trying to survive against Freddy Krugger, she keeps her mouth shut, watching as Nancy slowly falls to pieces. She also keeps Freddie's glove i.e. the fuckin' murder weapon hidden in her basement.





Brain Dead AKA Dead Alive
Even though I haven't seen Peter Jackson's gore fest in years (yes, really), I still have the disgusting image of a decomposing Vera Cosgrove ingrained in my lousy mind. After getting bitten by a rat monkey, the dominating Momma slowly becomes one of the living dead. Watch as her poor son, Lionel runs around, trying to protect Mummy dearest and keep her sedated with drugs until, inevitably, all hell breaks loose.

Sleepaway Camp
Oh, c'mon, even if you didn't like this film (and why the hell not!?), how the fuck can you forget the ending? I thought I had the entire plot sussed, and then that happened. And we can all thank Aunt Martha and her fabulous idea for that body count!




Friday the 13th
Pamela Voorhees is the undistributed Queen of the Terror-Moms. After her son Jason 'drowned' at Camp Crystal Lake, courtesy of a bunch of horny teenagers, the camp lay in abandonment. When several new councilors return, Pamela takes revenge, killing them off in bloody fashion. Freakiest moment; Mrs Voorhees' imitates her deceased son's voice; "Kill her, Mommy! Kill her! Don't let her get away, Mommy! Don't let her live!"


Nope, she's not pickin' her teeth, you dope! Nothing brings a wider grin to a Terror-Mom's face than something sharp an' shiny . . .